Hello again!! How was your week?? I hope it was productive and worthwhile!
Welcome to post Twenty Six, meaning half a year since my very first post, which went live on Halloween! While this endeavor felt daunting, specifically writing weekly in such a public manner, I am incredibly pleased I took that opportunity when I did!
The hours I’ve logged are easily the equivalent of a part time job, though more of an investment in a hypothetical future paycheck. Actually, with the hosting and URL rights fees, there is a slight negative impact on my budget; however, I would absolutely do it all over again every time!
The impacts these last six months are forever evident, not only in my life, but I hope for the entire world! For one, my writing has significantly improved through essentially my unpaid internship, which is clearly beneficial in pursuit of my writing career. I feel empowered through my ability to not only tell my story, but influence the minds of others, and if I eventually make some money along the way, even better!! Regardless, I truly love this part of me!
My improvement in writing is ancillary to my original goal, which was to change hearts and minds within each individual I come across, hopefully inspiring them to truly love who they are! Over these six months, I have come to realize this reaches a level of devotion I previously only reserved for my kids. I found my opportunity to impact the world! Moreover, I take every opportunity I can possibly find.
In recent weeks however, my message has shifted in response to the garbage policies trying to end the existence of transgender people, specifically in my state, but it’s happening everywhere. What I love about the timing of these actions is who I am now is not the person that side wants against them.
Last week, I wrote about the importance of my identity as a trans woman to my being, specifically in regards to who I am at my core. Beyond this core though, I am interacting with the world differently than I previously did, because I am not simply letting it come to me. If I am not finding the opportunity I want, I am taking it, which is an important distinction.
Occasionally, we may find ourselves fortunate to find the perfect opportunity, but it’s not something we can expect to rely on. More often, we have to determine our own path, then pursue each step successively until we get there, or perhaps reach a little closer today, only to try harder tomorrow. This is squarely where I have been for years.
Admittedly, aspects of my transition found me, such as starting a job, at which I was able to work fully remote. This arrangement allowed time to be alone, really for the first time in my life, considering I had been working at a restaurant when the pandemic began. Then adding in one of the coldest months ever, I found many opportunities to be with my own thoughts.
Oh, and I already had accumulated women’s clothes just because, since you know, typical cis people do that, right? I found myself there, in my apartment, with the ability to wear these clothes throughout my day, and started to feel parts of me I never had. Weeks later, I found the opportunity to discover my name, sealing my desire to transition.
From that point forward though, I had to take opportunities to advance each step, whether that was figure out my style, or makeup, or navigating the world. I certainly had help along the way, but even the help became available after I made efforts to seek it out. For example, for much of my life, no one was talking about makeup tips with me, but when I am wearing makeup in ways that could be improved upon, kind people step up….truly thankful!!
Quickly, I grew accustomed to this mindset, so much that I realize that’s just who Hazel is. In fact, months into my transition, I shifted to having greater worry over missing opportunities, rather than taking an opportunity that doesn’t work out. Even if I fail at something, I can rest assuredly by the fact I tried, which is an easier resolution than not trying at all.
Some of my favorite parts of my life are opportunities I took, while being unsure what would truly happen. All my advocacy work started with a handful of conversations with strangers, who’ve since become friends. Additionally, my writing was in response to complaints about work that were going unresolved, leading the pursuit of a more productive outlet for my passion and skills.
I took the opportunity to never look back.
I adore these parts of me, since they define me. My tagline now is some variation of trans woman, mom, writer, advocate, and snazzy dresser. We may debate the last one, but not those others, because I took those descriptors and made them mine through my actions.
My current advocacy work is incredibly important to me, so with my background, I am not looking to only win today. Instead, I desire to reverse this threat by thrusting the trans community into a better place than before these attacks began. They will regret making this opportunity available to me!
Meanwhile, I see my same fight in all marginalized communities, so why stop at just mine. More broadly, there are ideologies, which are dangerous if left unchecked, so I will take the opportunities to put them in check for the betterment of us all. If you need another voice, hands to hold up a sign, or even legs to walk alongside, let me know, because I look forward to the opportunity to make the world a better place!
I encourage everyone to stop waiting for the Universe to tell you that you are ready, because if you wait now, you may wait forever.
Reality is, we are never fully ready, just like me twenty six weeks ago when I published my first post. Yet now, I cannot imagine my life absent this blog or my aspirations to publish my book.
You have your thing, so go do it!! Today!! Imagine where you can be in twenty six weeks!!
Have a wonderful week everyone!!!