Hello again! Did you have a wonderful week?!?!
More importantly, did you make the most out of each day? If not, that is okay, because we have another day and week to make the most out of!
What kind of feelings does that last comment elicit? Is it one of optimism for making the best of the opportunities in front of you, or is it focusing on the missed opportunities? Does it depend on the day?
Beyond this, what are you telling yourself? When you are down, do you prop yourself up? Do you remind yourself of the positive aspects of your personality? What if you were talking to a dear friend, would you be more kind?
Moreover, what are you telling yourself when something good happens? Better yet, what if something good happens because of our own actions? Let’s say you ace a test, or nail the presentation at work, or have an outstanding date that leads to a second?
I ended last week’s post recapping a frequent conversation I had with myself in the mirror during which I would encourage myself through the difficult times. I mentioned it in context of my transition, but I have grown accustomed to doing this whenever I feel like it. I also really like how I look now, so that’s an added bonus – by the way, my hair is fire today!
I take no shame in my actions. First, it originated during a very personal time in my life, so there was no one else who possibly could tell me this. Secondly, I was super excited about the direction I wanted to go, and I was discovering love for myself I never knew. Finally, my hair is fire today!
What I found interesting is the connection between what I was telling myself and how I felt about myself. Briefly, I remember back to a time, when I didn’t have these conversations with myself, or worse yet when I would have negativity towards myself, or not even look in the mirror. Let’s move past that!
My question to you is what is your focus in the conversations you have with yourself? I suppose it’s less crazy to say: what is the focus of your thoughts?
The answer to this question probably says more about yourself than you may think. For the record, I don’t have any research or statistics, because that’s not really what I do here. After all, I am trustworthy!
Just in case you need some evidence, here’s an example to help illustrate what I mean, let’s say I am a person who believes she is optimistic. Also, let’s say something bad, but not horrible happened to me today, such as the lunch I brought to work had mold, so I had to figure out something else. How would this person respond? It is unfortunate, however, if there was a glimmer of hope, this person would find it, or at least not let that impact them beyond that immediate moment.
Now, let’s say that same lunch snafu happened to someone who thinks she has bad luck. Perhaps that ruins her day, or maybe week? Is the next bad thing that happens an indication of a pattern of bad luck, which can point to whenever we need it.
Maybe that isn’t a great example, so think about how you answer questions about your life, such as:
when you get home from work, what’s your response to “how was your day?”
what about on a Monday when someone asks “how was your weekend?”
you meet up with a friend, who asks “how have you been?”I am actually thinking about how I have answered those questions recently. Admittedly, I am not consistent; although I realize inconsistency in one direction creates momentum in that same direction. For instance, not too long ago, life felt hard, so at the end of the day, I laid in bed thinking about what was difficult that happened that day. I cried more that week than any week of recent memory, because I was essentially waiting for that next thing.
I do not recall a specific event or situation that flipped the switch, rather time passed, allowing me to move beyond these and realize better times. Eventually, I actually thought: I am glad this or that event happened when it did, because it would be worse if that happened later.
It was inverting the negative into the slimmest of positive that initiated a cascade of further positive feelings – or at least simply neutral feelings. The crazy thing is, the only crying I’ve done since then were happy tears.
It was inverting the negative into the slimmest of positive that initiated a cascade of further positive feelings – or at least simply neutral feelings. The crazy thing is, the only crying I’ve done since then were happy tears.
This reminds me of a saying, which I think originates with gambling but I have adapted for wider application: don’t let one bad day turn into two. If we can change our outlook on a negative event, we might prevent the negative momentum from starting.
Circling back to the beginning of this post, did you make the most of your day or week? If the answer is no, let’s be okay with that, because thankfully we have another opportunity this week. On the other hand, if we had a great week, let’s celebrate and turn that into two! Positive momentum is a beautiful thing!
Remind yourself this week that you are wonderfully capable of reaching your highest heights, no matter what has happened up to this point! Don’t forget to tell yourself that!
.If you need it, I will challenge all of us to find the positive in a negative situation, which can simply be telling yourself: at least it’s over with! More points for each positive you can find!
Also, don’t forget to commend your resilience through the tough times, or perhaps your adaptability, strength, wit, or whatever you did to get through it!
.Until next week, I will end this week’s post the same way I ended last week, though read it with more enthusiasm:
Have a wonderful week!! Let’s make the most of today and this week until I see you again!!!
Thank you, I need to be better at this. When something goes wrong I fixate on it, and think why me? So I need to be more positive and see there is always a reason that things happen the way they do. I love you baby sister!!!