Hello everyone!! I hope you had a fantastic week!!
My week was…well, it was a week. I am writing divergent posts, since my feelings are diametrically different. For one, I passed off a draft to some beta readers for feedback; however, the focus of this post is not that. For that post, follow this link
For that post, follow this link
however for this post, let’s see where it goes.
I’m starting this the morning after Trans Day of Remembrance, which is a day to honor those trans and nonbinary individuals who lost their lives, simply because of who they are. Every year we recognize this day on November 20th.
At the vigil I attended for TDoR, the names of people whose lives were lost were read, including their cause of death. Inevitably next year will be a list of new names, as this world is only getting harder for trans people.
Reading the names and the causes of death were deeply emotional for me, particularly with the regularity of how often self harm was the cause of death. I cannot imagine another group for which this is the case.
This comes amidst several Thanksgiving celebrations this week, two of which are trans friend groups, while the other is an invite from a dear friend to attend her family’s Thanksgiving.
Chosen family is not a term straight people use. It’s for queer people. These days, it feels reserved for the trans community, as it seems acceptance of cisgender gay and lesbian people is high.
Chosen family is reserved for a community that while mourning those killed this past year, also submitted a warning for this upcoming legislative session, which follows the most brutal session across this country.
Do you think these legislatures, which passed a record number of anti-trans bills in 2023 are satisfied with what they’ve done?
Do you think these legislatures will focus on actual problems facing their state, or will they continue to attack a wounded population for bonus points in their party, while most people do nothing?
Oh, please pass the gravy, while giving thanks for the family before a nap. Sweet dreams.
This week is also the week I should be in the city I grew up, sharing a meal with the people I grew up with. Careful not to say the F word, because it’s not the case anymore.
These days it’s a new F word: Friendsgiving one day, followed by a thanksgiving meal with a Friend. Friends. Not Family. Oops, I said that F word.
At this point, I don’t know what I am doing with this post. If I put it out there, I know I will get blamed for causing problems in the family. Dang it. I said it again.
Blame often goes to the people who refuse to silently accept the status quo.
For me, I cannot be in the same room with someone who chooses a hateful church over her own daughter, even if she’s trans. We could have “peace” and an entire family together if I only suppressed my feelings, but I am tired of doing that.
Therefore, blame comes for me, who is different, and disgruntled because my lifestyle doesn’t fit the mold. Straight people are okay with this, as long as they love the trans people in their lives on their own time. It doesn’t belong at Thanksgiving next to that gravy you still need to pass.
For my community, we want to live our best life, even if the world tells us we are wrong, including trying to legislate us out of existence.
Essential medical care is banned for one group of people
Bathroom spaces are banned for one group of people
Our existence is debated across the dinner table, or our group is taboo, deemed too political across this country, particularly in the halls of conservative churches.
I am sitting here alone. You don’t have to debate me. I am real.
If this post sees the light of day, please know I am okay with whatever response I get.
I already hurt, so there is nothing you can do to make it worse. This might be the worst thanksgiving of my life, despite my pending book or the fact I have friends who want to spend time with me.
I am already hurt because of rejection.
Soon I will be over this, moving back into my positivity. Feelings will be felt, steps will be walked, then I will be back to my goals, counting down until Christmas, when I can go through this again.
At least I can delight in my kids and friends during these times. I am grateful for all of you!
I will remain trans, and incredibly joyful for this fact.
These past several years have been the best of my life, thanks to the gift of discovery given to me by the Universe, or dare I say it God? I am thankful for this pain, as it’s not possible without my joy, though perhaps that’s a topic for another week.
Additionally, this past year has been superb thanks to you! I am endlessly grateful to those who read this!!
I am so grateful for those asking about my book, who will be those who read my book.
Thank you!! Have a spectacular week!!