Happy New Year!! It’s the first day of 2023, so we are to our new us, right? Of course I am kidding, but we are feeling the motivation and momentum, right?
Before we jump in, it’s surreal hitting my tenth post! If asked, I believed I could be making this post, but it’s still neat to be here! Thank you again for being here! So now, let’s go…
My plan for this week is finishing the goal setting series; although, don’t be surprised to see it resurface at some point this year. There were some ideas I had over the past few weeks that didn’t quite fit into the previous posts, so this week is a bit of a grab bag.
First, it’s literally the first day of the year, so while we want to see results right away, slow steady progress is the best way to make (and maintain) long term changes. The tricky part is building momentum from success is so important for reaching out goals. Seems a little impossible at times.
This is why I emphasize the high level plan, so we can know where we should be by what point in time. Another complementary suggestion is starting slowly, making one change now, getting used to it, then ramping up as that becomes the new normal. Also, a reminder to keep celebrating your successes along the way!! You did it!
Secondly, there are so many benefits to finding a friend who can participate with you, or at least start her/their/his own venture around the same time. I am very thankful for my friends who’ve been going to the gym with me recently, not only because I enjoy spending time together, but I also have someone who can hold me accountable; even if that is simply to avoid telling them ‘no’.
Not surprisingly, finding a gym buddy isn’t too difficult, particularly this time of year, but perhaps you are amidst a goal you do not think others share. My response is that you may be surprised by what is actually available out there! I know Facebook has its faults, but the available groups on the app are shockingly abundant if you look. Also, there are sights such as Meetup, or simply searching on Google your goal and your city, which may produce helpful groups available to join for free. Not only can this increase accountability, you may find beneficial comradery among your new friends!
Third, I was listening to a book the other day, which referenced a difference between starting a goal as opposed to the elimination of a bad habit. Basically, starting something new is easier because it’s the formation of a new, exciting habit, which you build upon. On the other hand, this author was saying it’s more difficult to end an established bad habit, since we have grown used to it, whether we like it or not.
While listening to this, I was thinking about doing both as an alternative to simply cutting a bad habit. There are so many fun ideas to improve our lives we can start today, so if we connect those thoughts to replacing the bad ones, we are doubling our improvements!! Anecdotally, I know people who cut out a negative habit end up picking up several positive behaviors because they feel so good about themselves. I love that these changes reinforce one another, making it harder to go back.
Finally, and most importantly, don’t forget why you are doing it!
I mean, really, you are so worth it! You are making a change to be your best self, which is incredibly impressive and worthy of praise! I’m proud of you!
I cannot underestimate the Identity step of TIMER, because I believe this is your reminder about why you are doing it, which is for yourself! You decided this new plan, goal, lifestyle, or whatever is what you want, so don’t forget it! Even when it gets hard, please do not forget it!!! I believe in you!
So often, I think back to my transition, reminiscing about all the wonderful feelings as I made each step. The reality though, it was very difficult at times, mostly due to my own thoughts. For one, it felt like such a huge undertaking from the beginning, because I was literally changing everything in my life. Also, I knew I had to do it one step at a time, or even just one day or moment at a time.
I remember telling my therapist I wish I could just wake up in the morning and be done, meaning I was known by the entire world as myself. This was after telling her I was scared of the changes in front of me.
However, some of my fondest memories are the hours (literally hundreds of them) in front of the mirror telling myself: “Hazel, you want to get to the end, and this [next thing] has to be done to get there”. I was reminding myself I wanted this end so badly that I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way. I am certainly not unique in having those feelings, nor is the desire to transition the only prompt for these feelings.
Whatever it is you want to do, or be, you deserve it! You have earned the right to make your best self! If it helps, make a list of why you are doing this!
Here’s to making the best year for all of us!! I thought 2021 was my best year, probably impossible to top; although, 2022 was somehow even better. I am determined to make the best 2023 not just for me, but for you too!!
Have a wonderful week!! Let’s make the most of today and this week until I see you again!!!