Hazel Krebs

Scoping out singles, swipe left, swipe right, 

Oh she’s cute, an outdoorsy man, each a delight, 

Shrewdly searching for flags, avoiding the red,

Specifically one that’s sadly widespread.

I’m sorry, it’s me, it’s how I was raised, 

When making a list, how is it phrased?

Best to clear it up now, avoid any drama,

Call it serial or Oxford, do you use THAT comma?

No room in my life, nor certainly my page, 

Unless you enjoy escalating my rage. 

Even with otherwise impeccable grammar,

A hard pass on your kind, you unlearned ninnyhammer. 

Then one day, my friend and I had a chat,

She said she loves cooking, her family and cat.

Later I met her parents, husband and kin

Perplexed, but don’t ask, much to my chagrin.

I’ve been led astray, professors beguile

I wrote by the book, AP Manual Style

No comma is present, never a folly,

So what is the source of my melancholy?

After a cry, I swallow my pride, 

Research in books, magazine, and guide,

Reluctantly I settle, my new preference demonstrates,

That adding a comma, rarely obfuscates

I’m a changed woman, I’ve opened my eyes

The dating world expands with new gals and guys,

How about a picnic, is that a grumble in your belly?

Perfect, I brought sandwiches, peanut butter and jelly.