Hello again! I hope you have been fantastic!!
Since the calendar has turned to October, there is so much going on; although, I do not mean pumpkin spice lattes, or any of the other traditional October activities. Instead, there are so many things going on in my world.
Okay first, I do mean pumpkin spice lattes, of which I have consumed numerous already! You can judge all you want! Second, my blog turns one year old this month!! Also, my writing is reaching a crescendo for multiple reasons. Oh, I also have a little procedure in mid-October. No big deal!
I am reminded that my website is one year old, thanks to the hosting company making the annual request for more money a few weeks ago that goes towards hosting this site, my URL name, and other fees I am not sure I actually need. Anyone else afraid to cancel something, particularly a tech something, because unwinding a possible mistake seems more overwhelming than simply paying it? I cannot be the only one!
Based on how much it costs, and knowing I definitely need some of those items, the potential pain of a mistake outweighs letting the autodraft stand. Enjoy this extra bonus hosting company, which would get named should they give me a discount, so give me a call!
I’m afraid the company will not be calling
For nostalgia purposes, I turned back the pages to that first post, which went live on Halloween, and fittingly was about fear. Feel free to go back, but please keep in mind, my writing has improved over the last twelve months, or so I hope. Alternatively, you can simply stay right here, as nothing in that post is a prerequisite for appreciating this one.
Coincidentally, if I was starting from a blank screen today, I could write about fear yet again, based on what I outlined above. Honestly though, I could have written about fear several times through this past year, since my relationship with fear has shifted over the past year.
Before my first post, I had committed significant energy into my website, coming up with topic ideas, even writing out some of those ideas. Further, I began to outline my book, while building incredible excitement internally for this new dream I discovered, seeing it as the next step for embracing my authentic self.
After my first post went live, I was scared, which I wrote about in subsequent weeks, I am fairly certain. I recall my first fear was based on how public I made my goals, my life, my writing, and not to mention aligning my dreams with my identity
Mostly, I was afraid of what I was getting myself into.
.It’s one thing to waste time and energy on my own, yet it’s another thing to intentionally put something into public, risking rejection, humiliation, and other pains, while committing to continuing week after week! Of course I was scared, right? These were all things I generally avoided throughout my life.
Then again, I also didn’t go by Hazel throughout most of my life, nor did I have even a fraction of the confidence and enthusiasm to simply be myself for much of my life. Most importantly, I didn’t believe in myself for most of my life.
So why couldn’t it work? All these other things are unbelievable, so why not this next thing? Or anything?
Reflecting on this first post is pretty remarkable, as the contrast between who wrote that versus who is writing this is so stark, yet amazingly, the growth up to that point was equally contrasting and stark.
Up to that point one year ago, I found the courage within myself to not only find my dream, but also embrace it, even if it meant being scared. Even through hesitation, I posted it, then moved onto the next one, week after week.
Since then, I have done so much in public that even I find it hard to believe I was so scared one year ago. I am proud of who I have become, but up towards the top, is the pride I have when confronted with fear, because no longer does it stop me.
I have flipped how fear impacts me.
Like right now, I am so scared for so many reasons. I’ve talked about endeavoring on my own with writing and speaking without a long term plan. I’m networking, writing, branding, showcasing myself, and through all of it, risking rejection.
I’ve talked about my book, which is close to completion. In fact, I have begun researching methods for publishing, while starting the advertising process. All that hard work, pouring my heart onto those pages, risking humiliation.
My surgery is quickly approaching. I am nervous, but so excited. I know how I currently feel about my body, but I can only imagine how I will feel afterwards. Also, it’s major surgery, requiring major recovery, plus there is no going back.
All that said, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, or doing anything else.
Fear will always exist in our lives, yet how we approach it could change. Certainly, there are instances when safety is the most prudent response to fear, such as when our intuition is calling the alarm.
Nevertheless, there are instances when safety is the wrong choice, when our fears are stopping us from what we truly want and deserve. Harness your own fear, potentially make it conceivable to not only acknowledge fear, but accept it, and maybe one day embrace fear.
You have the power right now, it’s within you, just as it’s within me, and everyone else. Learn to listen to your heart, particularly when it’s encouraging you to follow it.
I want to see you do your best, and of course, I want to hear about it afterwards!!!
Be amazing! Stay amazing!! Have a wonderful week!!
I love your message! I don’t know what I fear except running alone in the dark like Andrea does. Sometimes I fear loosing someone dear to death, like a sibling, there are only 3 of the original 6 of us left! Or heaven forbid I would loose one of my kids, This is actually the first time I’ve paused to think about fear. Thank you for this!
I love your message! I don’t know what I fear except running alone in the dark like Andrea does. Sometimes I fear loosing someone dear to death, like a sibling, there are only 3 of the original 6 of us left! Or heaven forbid I would loose one of my kids, This is actually the first time I’ve paused to think about fear. Thank you for this!