Hello again!!! Hello for the Thirtieth time!! Yes!! Thirty!! Unbelievable!! How was your week?
For better or worse, my weeks are starting to feel normal. For one, I am getting used to working from home, which remains not my favorite; however, not getting ready nor driving frees up time I can put to better use.
Secondly, nothing is happening legislatively in my local area, thus no imminent expectations that my day-to-day life will become worse. Then again, it’s unlikely to become considerably better from a legal standpoint.
I certainly feel some positives, though. The best part of this normalcy is the extent I love myself continues to grow, well beyond the maximum I thought was possible, which was already well past the maximum I thought was possible, which was already well past the maximum I thought was possible….
I could go through several more iterations of this spiral, while still unable to fully communicate my elation of being me.
How is that possible??
Don’t I talk about how people want to eradicate the trans community? List off how stress of being scared causes problems sleeping and eating? What about the endless tears?
How possibly could I reconcile these??
It’s simple: I know who I am
That’s it. I know who I am. These laws will never change that, so any attempts of force detransition will never work!
Quickly, a vocabulary break: Detransition, which is reversing the changes undertaken during transition, such as returning to using a deadname, previous appearance attributes, and quitting medical interventions. In short, going back to one’s previous existence.
Despite what lawmakers want to claim, detransition is EXTREMELY rare, though the numbers are difficult to come by. I often see percentages around 0.5% to 2%, though I have seen some as high as 5%. My hunch is around 1.0% to 1.5%, based on the various sources I have seen.
I have never met anyone who has detransitioned; although, I see comments on message boards that some people plan on it. The reasons cited for detransition have always been to keep a marriage/family intact or to avoid persecution or to ensure safety. In other words, it’s never about themselves or their identity, rather the cause is external pressure.
When someone detransitions for safety purposes, I believe their intentions are temporary; therefore, when safety is obtained, their transition presumably will resume. When the reason is family, we rely on this asinine belief of sacrificing yourself for the sake of your family, which completely ignores the benefit to your family of being yourself. I truly believe these people will have regrets, eventually re-transitioning later.
Consequently, these both feel like pauses, rather than true detransition. This is not based on actual data, since numbers may not exist.
Alternatively, my confidence is based on one simple fact: we know who we are.
Being transgender is a journey, sparked by unease from our gender presentation dictated by our world. For me, in the third grade, I didn’t like my clothes, or my name much. This dislike grew to disdain through adolescence as I began to have crushes on boys and desired friendships with girls. I secretly struggled with these thoughts in a world I was not ready for.
The problem? My true feelings were incongruent with society’s expectations, based on my body, and I chose to give in to those expectations. Instead, had I been strong enough to own my feelings, find my path, then choose my true self, my entire life would have been completely different.
I didn’t choose to be transgender, it chose me.
Eventually, I chose to embrace who I am, meaning I chose to be happy.
I chose to endure an arduous path to happiness, yet I would do it one hundred times again, maybe more. Despite mounting obstacles built on hate towards me, I chose to love myself more today than yesterday, and certainly less than tomorrow.
All because: I know who I am.
Admittedly, I am not unique in this recognition, as every trans person has looked in the mirror, while having their own debate on whether pursuit of their identity is worth the trouble. If that person chooses not to, we will never know.
I have never heard anyone say, I thought I was trans, but realized I wasn’t.
In fact, and this is our little secret, if you speculate you might be trans, then you are probably trans, because this indicates you are unsure of who you are.
The choice is what a person will do with that knowledge. Would you choose your happiness?
Clearly, I am emphasizing where the choice lies, since I often hear even the most well intentioned cis people frame it differently. We do not choose to break up families, disappoint our parents, or make our lives harder; yet those could happen.
We choose happiness by living our lives as who we are, then respond to the consequences completely ready to rebuild our true life.
We may choose to leave lifelong friends or family, who do not accept us.
We may choose new goals, hopes, and dreams, unencumbered by others’ expectations.
We may choose to endure painful hardships that you would avoid.
In the end though, we choose our true self. If laws were passed forcing detransition, I would absolutely choose death, because not living this life is not worth living at all.
Honestly, I know countless other trans people who choose the same.
Perhaps this feels extreme, but I want to make it clear that we do not wake up one morning, casually deciding to uproot our entire life simply to wear dresses and go into the women’s restroom. The choice to transition is carefully considered for a long time, see my last post!
For those who want to support us, please remember we know our lives are more difficult being trans, yet we do it anyway. Therefore, when we ask for your help, please consider giving it.
That reminds me, we need your help!
Thanks again for reading!! I hope these last two posts are making an impact! I am grateful for the opportunity to make a difference through you!
Please let me know if you have ideas, thoughts, or questions you would like to show up here!
Thank you always!!! Have a wonderful week!!