Hello again! I hope your week was wonderfully amazing! Thanks for coming back for my twelfth post! I can’t believe we are at one dozen!
What else is hard to believe, and humbling, is the positive feedback I occasionally get from those reading this.
As I have mentioned countless times, I aspire to be a writer, so when words I put into the world are being read, I consider that a success. Of course, I couldn’t do it without you, so thank you!
My progress towards being a writer is rewarding, since this title of ‘writer’ is something I want as my byline. So, when I recently rejoined an online dating site, I emphasized my writing over my day job in my profile, as well as the handful of conversations I have had so far. Yeah, the dating part is not going well, but there’s entertainment value.
During a conversation with a potential suitor, the topic of which escapes me now but probably my writing, he told me he liked my authenticity…..not enough to prompt him to ask me on a date, but that’s neither here nor there. At first, I was a little surprised he used that word, since I wasn’t necessarily expending effort to be authentic; rather simply having a conversation.
After I paused for a moment, I came to really appreciate the fact he used that word in particular, because that is one of the words I try to live by, even during a get-to-know-you conversation with someone I probably will never meet on a dating site. This somewhat random occurrence solidified this topic for this week, moving it up from a ‘probably’ status. Thanks [REDACTED]!
This concept of words to live by is not my idea, and I have heard several variations, so I think I am okay not giving one particular person credit for this. The version I prefer is limiting the words to a small number, which forces us to decide which words are the most important. Additionally, I believe how we are seen in this world should be a reflection of these words. Meaning if this guy on the dating app thinks I am authentic, but most people I know in real life think I am fake, then I have work to do.
Momentary aside: I generally don’t think we should worry about what others think, specifically on an individual basis; however, when an entire community thinks a certain way, then perhaps we should take notice. An example being if someone thinks we are unreliable because we canceled plans last minute (for a totally good reason), that’s one thing. Whereas, if our entire friend group thinks we are unreliable, then maybe there’s a pattern.
Secondary aside: the gentleman with whom I was having the conversation moved into text messages; however it has severely stagnated. He did text me Saturday, but dude needs to step up, am I right?
My other word is courage by the way, or courageous if you prefer the adjective form. Together, authenticity and courage are the foundations of how I go about my day and life.
After I chose these two words, I started to notice these attributes driving my behaviors to various degrees. Further, I used these as reassurance for decisions I already had made, such as starting this blog! A past me may have gone away to hide after one post, or would be too scared to put it out there at all! Beyond my blog, I often put myself out there, whether it’s a single conversation or advocating for a cause in the community. Whatever apprehension surfaces is countered with self assurance back to those words.
Now it’s time to think about the words for yourself. I like having only two, which is my suggestion, but do what feels right! Keep in mind, by not choosing authenticity does not make you inauthentic; rather, these are words that you value the most about yourself. Alternatively, what word would bring you the most joy when described by a random person on a dating site? Okay, maybe don’t think about that last way.
Here’s some examples of words I considered: Trustworthy, Ambition, Confidence, or Hopeful. These should help you get started, as well as illustrate the fact we exhibit many positive qualities; although, there are two that should stand above the rest
Perhaps “try them on,” meaning think about why you are doing the things you do, particularly those that you really love or those you prefer to accentuate. When I thought about my words, Authenticity came right away and was easy, while Courage took some consideration. I could have used Ambition or Confidence, since those are pretty close, right?
Distinguishing these two words in particular originate from my past life, when Authenticity and Courage were attributes I did not possess to the degree I wanted, if at all! Alternatively, I could make the argument I had Ambition and Confidence. My two words are more of a challenge for me, particularly when I realized I would transition. I felt inauthentic, which gave me tremendous discontentment, and I was incredibly scared for this journey that lay in front of me. Authentic and Courageous make me the person writing this blog, whom I love dearly.
So what words make you the person you love to be? Think about what qualities are important to you, and find those few that you love to wear. Then start thinking about being intentional with your actions and thoughts. Perhaps when second guessing something, ask yourself what the root of those thoughts are. Finally, see what happens! It is free and there’s nothing to lose!
Feel free to reach out with your words and/or results of this! I love hearing from you!!!
Have a fantastic week!!